There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
