Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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