take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize