i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
