"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
