so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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