But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
