he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
