she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
