just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The air was thick with penises
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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