I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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