So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize