your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
