is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
