Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
