You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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