she was so not down for the gang bang
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
