definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
