They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
