you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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