Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
