Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
