that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
