Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
