This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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