You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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