So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
