end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
