is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
