I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
