Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
