is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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