Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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