he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
