I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
