she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
