East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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