Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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