I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
