What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
