I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
