I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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