Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Your dad touched me again.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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