did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
