My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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