I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
