Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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