Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
