so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
