It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
