So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
