It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
